For When You Don't Feel Appreciated
Hello fellow adventurer!
Before we get started, I have an announcement: I will be hosting an Online Bible Study for Rest and Rise starting April 25th!
This is for anyone who:
- Needs a group to go through "Rest and Rise - A 4-Week Bible Study: Be Refreshed In Your Work"
- Can't get out of the house to get together but can get online
- Wants to ask any questions from me during the study
I hope you can make it!
What To Expect
Thanks for being here. These blog posts will offer a Word of Rest, Reflect questions, and Rise, a tangible way to lift up Jesus' name in your given space.
This is how I envision these going: ask a friend or a whole group to read the Rest post. Set up a time where you can meet and Reflect (using the questions below), and talk about which option you will choose to Rise and lift up someone else in your community. If you do any of these things, snap a picture and tag #restandrise. I would love to repost and feature you in the next email!
"But the thing displeased Samuel when they said, 'Give us a king to judge us.' And Samuel prayed to the Lord. And the Lord said to Samuel, 'Obey the voice of the people in all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me from being king over them.'” 1 Samuel 8:6-8
"YOU ASKED ME TO MAKE THE JUICE, SO I’M MAKING THE JUICE.” I said in a very firm voice to my daughter at breakfast the other morning.
“NOO!! I DON’T WANT YOU TO MAKE THE JUICE NOWWWWWW” she replied in sobbing screams.
The grapes and water were in the blender, ready to go.
I felt like I had already done a lot for her that morning and not much for myself. I played Barbies, let her take all 7 horses with the clunky carriage into the kitchen so I could make the fam breakfast while continuing to impersonate the Barbies for her pretend storyline.
I prepared her favorite cereal, asked her choice of fruit, and when she didn’t choose, I set a bowl of grapes in front of her.
She didn’t want the grapes...but she did want grape juice. I informed her we didn’t have any.
My daughter, being a creative after my own heart, suggested that we could make grape juice. “Well, sure we can, but it’s better just to eat the grapes because they keep you more full. And plus, we don’t have time to make juice” I said.
I ended up doing it since I figured it really wouldn’t take much time to throw some in the blender and I thought it could be fun to make grape juice, but before I could blend everything she yelled at me not to make it.
I started to snap a little and asked, “And why not?" behind clenched teeth. I needed a really good reason to put away the ingredients and clean up after I had already *so kindly and undeservedly* acquiesced in response to her demanding request. All she could do was scream and yell at me, so I asked her to go to her room. She didn’t. I sent myself to my room and locked the door behind me before I had a chance to blow up.
With a pounding heart and angry thoughts, I tried to busy myself by getting ready in the bathroom while ignoring her screams. I asked myself, "How is a four-year-old making me so upset? Why am I taking this so personally?”
Then: "How can the people who are closest to you push your buttons the most? Should I even be affected by her actions toward me at all, or be emotionally removed and clear-headed?"
Thankfully, she ran to her sleeping Daddy (well, not so sleepy after the scream fest) who cheered her up, and she asked me if we were still going to make cookies that afternoon. I took the opportunity to address what just happened, she apologized, and I realized that she thought the grape juice would go bad by the time we had our neighbors over for dinner that night. She wanted to save some for them. By the time I dropped her off at school, she was happy as could be in the backseat while I was still fuming and tried my best to smile at her. Even though she had good intentions, it still hurt.
But kids don’t hold grudges. They can flip their emotions on and off like a switch. Lord, help me to be like that.
When Your Gift Is Rejected
As I walked to the office and processed it all, I asked myself, “what was really the root of my anger?"
I felt like I was giving myself away and being treated poorly in return.
Isn’t that one reason why we get angry at the ones we love?
We make an effort to give a good gift, and are rejected.
I had just read about Samuel in the Bible, who felt this very thing: He had given his entire life to ministry, to serving the people in complete honesty and earnest obedience, and what does he get in return? Rejection.
The people didn’t want Samuel, the man who had served them all those years, to lead them--they wanted a king “like all the other nations.” They were discontent and blind to the Lord’s gift right in front of them.
But honestly, any good thing is a gift not from us but from the Lord (James 1:17). Whatever good thing I think I have to give is straight from God. This leaves me in a place of rest: the response to my gift can either be rejection or praise; and both belong to the Lord.
The Lord comforted Samuel by saying, “they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me” (1 Samuel 8:8). And in remembering this verse, the Lord comforted me as well: “she did not reject you, she rejected Me."
My friend, have you given yourself to someone, given them a good gift that they did not appreciate or treated you poorly in return?
Many times, if someone rejects something I made it feels like I am the one being rejected. But the Lord kindly reassures us that all good gifts (including gifts He gives to us) are from Him, and we are not the ones being rejected.
“As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious.” - 1 Peter 2:4
We can rest in His patience as our heavenly Parent, learn from His ways, and go to Him for justice. He was rejected first, but walked with the security that He was loved by His Father, and that’s all He needed.
At the end of my walk, the Lord not only helped me to see that I didn’t need to protect myself and demand a right response. Instead, He brought to mind all the good things He has given me…and I realized the ways I have been a jerk in response. Ah, forgive me Lord!
He is so kind—turning my sinful anger into repentance and thankfulness.
When you feel under-appreciated by someone, know that God sees you and values you. He made you. He loves you. He gave you Himself and withholds no good thing from you.
- How do you respond when others don’t receive your gifts with thankfulness?
- What good gifts has the Lord given you?
- Who is one person in your life you can thank today?
If you would like to count your blessings, thank the Lord for all the good gifts in your life, and share that gratefulness by thanking someone else in your life, download the free card template by clicking the image below and entering the password that you received when you subscribed to my email list.
I have included one ready-to-go, and another to color yourself with a group of friends!